


Maker of My Sorrow

by glow593



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Sulpicia doesn't exist, bella joins the volturi, set in the blank period of new moon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glow593/pseuds/glow593
Summary: The Volturi find out about Bella earlier.
Relationships: Aro/Bella Swan
Comments: 59
Kudos: 199





	1. An Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> uhm yeah. this started as me being like "what a good idea for a title lmao. now i just need a story". and wham inspiration for this hit me.  
> this takes place in the blank periode of nm.

Nothing really bothered me. My mind was a calm, placid lake, the horrors lurking under the surface, but not breaking it. I hadn’t always been like this. This blank slate with no emotion. I used to feel lots of things, but lately I couldn’t see any point to any of it. At some point I wanted to blame them. No, I mustn’t think of them. Calm, placid lake.

The view from my window was the same every day, but it didn’t bother me. I didn’t really notice it anymore. It was the only thing I could look at without my dreadful memories rearing their ugly head.

It was a Friday afternoon at the beginning of December. I thought so at least. I think someone had been talking about being forced to hang up Christmas decorations. Also judging by the amount of snow outside we were nearing the end of the year and the middle of winter. School had been like every other day, that is to say; I didn’t actually remember anything from the day. So I might have been wrong. I don’t really keep track of time anymore. Nothing really bothered me anymore, except thoughts of them of course. No. Don’t think about it. 

Charlie would probably work late again today. He didn’t like being home with me. I made him sad and he didn’t know how to handle me. At some level, I felt bad about this, but mostly I just could not bring myself to care.

I decided to go to bed even though it was just beginning to get dark. I wasn’t hungry and doubted I could eat anything even if I was.

The nightmares came as they did every night after _they_ left. Horrible nightmares, that left me screaming. Waking Charlie, but after the first month he had stopped coming into my room to check on me. There was nothing he could do anyway.

The next morning dawned. I got up to shower. Then I sat in my chair and looked out the window again. Like every day.

I heard a knock on the door but didn’t get up to answer it. The knocking got more insistent and I remembered that Charlie wasn’t at home. Out fishing with Harry, I assumed. I didn’t actually pay attention when he said where he was going to be. Honestly, I couldn’t care less. I couldn’t care about anything. The knocking got louder, and with a sigh, I finally got up to answer.

When I opened the door I came face to face with some of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. Vampires. I couldn’t breathe. Memories started encroaching on the blank slate that was my mind. I tried to suppress them. To return to the calm nothingness that my life had become. But it wouldn’t work. The vampires at the door just stared at me. Showing no outward reaction to my panic attack. Strangely enough it was this that brought me a measure of calm. The calm I needed to start to regain control of myself.

There were three of them. Two of them were small, like Al-. I stopped the thought before it could become complete. The third was massive, tall, and just all-around big. They all wore dark cloaks. The two small figures’ cloaks were darker than then tall one’s smoke-grey cloak, almost black. Underneath the cloaks, they wore nondescript normal clothes in pale colours.

They were all beautiful, but the small figures — a boy and a girl — would have put Botticelli's angels to shame. I thought that they might be twins. They both had short brown hair, the boy’s darker than the girl’s. Full lips and big eyes completed the look of innocence.

I could breathe again and it was like a veil had been lifted from my eyes. The pain of memories was pushed back when the danger dawned on me, as I noticed their eyes. Red. Blood red. They were human-eaters.

“Isabella Swan?” the girl’s voice was high and childlike. She spoke without any particular inflection in the words. Like she couldn’t care less.

“Y-yes?” my voice was rusty from disuse, a horrible caricature of a voice in comparison to the vampire in front of me’s.

“You will come with us.” It was said with certainty. I was going to go with them no matter my opinion on the subject. Not like I could run from them or keep them from taking me anyway.

“I.. Who are you? What do you want with me?” I felt like I had to put up a token of a fight, even though my fate was already decided.

“We are the Volturi”

I froze.

“Oh. It looks like you’ve heard of us then,” the boy spoke, mocking interest colouring his voice.

I didn’t know what to say to that. I wasn’t supposed to know about them and the answer to the question of what they wanted with me was answered. They wanted me dead.

“As to what we want with you,” the boy continued, “Master Aro wishes to speak with you.”

That surprised me. 

“Oh.” It seemed like I might live a bit longer then. Before I did not care if I lived or died, but faced with the certainty of my demise, I wanted to live. I desperately wanted to live.

“Enough chit-chat” the girl’s previously emotionless voice was irritated. “Come.”

She turned and started walking towards a car I had not noticed. I did not think it a good idea to ask if I could be allowed to pack a bag. Closing the door behind me I followed the trio of red-eyed vampires. I wondered how we were going to get to Italy and was about to open my mouth to ask if I needed my passport.

“I said enough talk.” the girl’s voice was hard and I closed my mouth. Now that there was a chance I might survive a bit longer, I did not want to ruin it by running my mouth.

The tall one sat down at the wheel. It was as expected. The two small vampires looked like they had been no older than 13 or 14 when they were turned. They probably didn’t want to be pulled over.

I still did not know their names.

I did not want to think about what my disappearance would do to Charlie. I had no chance to leave a note, and even if I did, I would not know what to write in it. _I’m sorry, I’m going to Italy to speak with the leader of the vampire world and will likely be killed afterward_. That would have gone over well. I was glad that Charlie was not at home, as I had no doubt that they would not have hesitated in killing him. He was not the one they had come for, and as such had no value. And yet I wanted a chance to say goodbye.

I got in the back with the boy. My hands were shaking as I opened the car door. I tried to make them stop. I did not want to show weakness in the present company, but of course they could all hear my heart galloping and my breath coming short. Tears were barely suppressed. I needed to focus on something else.

As soon as a closed the door, the big vampire started the car. It was a black, nondescript car. I pressed back against the leather seat and put on my seatbelt. As soon as the belt clicked shut with a loud sound in the relative silence. The boy turned to me. He was smirking and I did not want to know what he had to say. Of course, there was no stopping him.

“I’m Alec. That’s my dearest sister, Jane” A dramatic gesture to the girl in the front seat, as though there was doubt about who he spoke, “and the big guy driving is Felix”. There was a grunt from the driver’s seat, an acknowledgment of his name being spoken.

The girl, Jane, sighed loudly. “Alec, the human will not live long, I doubt there’s any reason for it to know our names.”

“Just making conversation,” he paused tilting his head, “it’s a long drive to Seattle and an even longer flight to Volterra. It would be rude of us not to.” He was still smirking.

He was definitely mocking me. I wanted to say something but was too scared to do so.

“Not gonna introduce yourself? How rude.” he was laughing.

“I’m Bella.” I managed to force out. My voice didn’t shake as badly as I would have expected it to. 

“Nice to meet you, Bella”

“Dips” Felix spoke with a laugh. He had a deep, smooth voice. I looked at the back of his head, alarmed, as the word sank in. Alec laughed again. Jane sighed and turned her head to look out the window. 

The reality of the situation suddenly sank down on me. I was leaving for Italy to never come back again. I wondered what my parents would think. My car was still in the driveway, and there was no sign I had left other than my not being there. Considering how I had been acting, I would not be a stretch of the imagination to think that I had disappeared to kill myself.

The tears did come then, but I quickly dried them away.


	2. Volterra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a long trip to Volterra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no aro in this chapter either, unfortunately. but soon :D  
> don't expect updates this often. it's gonna be very sporadic since my inspiration hits at the weirdest times lol

The drive to Seattle from Forks was indeed long, and felt even longer in the present company I found myself in. After our short… Conversation if you wanted to call it that, Alec had fallen silent and looked out the window like his sister, Jane. Felix was focused on driving. They didn’t move, didn’t breathe, and made nary a sound. Every movement I made sounded ten times louder in the quiet. Or maybe that was just what it seemed like to me.

I was still wondering how we were going to get to Italy when I didn’t have my passport. I was just thinking about this when the car stopped and the others made to get out. I snapped to attention then. I had not paid attention to anything passing outside on the drive too caught up in my thoughts. The hours had flown by. I placed my hand on the door handle and looked out the window and hesitated. We were clearly not going to be using the airport like normal people. Outside was a plane, which I could only assume was private. Oh, that explained that then.

While I was studying the plane the vampires had already gotten to the stairs leading up to it. Felix looked back at me and opened his mouth to say something, so I hurried out the car to catch up to them. He closed his mouth and smirked at me, looking me up and down. I didn’t want to know what he saw. A mess of a human, probably.

I walked up the stairs ahead of him and he whistled. I flushed and hurried up. I knew he was just doing it to get a rise out of me.

I was not looking forward to the 15-hour flight, I thought again. Something that had run through my head many times. But there was no choice, I wanted to live and this was the way to do it.

The fog of my depression had lifted and given way to fear. It was uncomfortable — an understatement — to feel things again after so long of not really feeling anything. At some weird point I was grateful to these strange vampires for bringing me back to myself. If it could be called that to be in a constant state of fear.

The inside of the plane was… cozy, surprisingly. Comfortable looking seats were spread out in two small groups with four seats each and tables in between them.  _ Extremely over the top for a plane _ , I thought. They were obviously rich and I felt uncomfortable. Fidgeting more than normal. Alec grinned at me from his seat opposite Jane.

“Don’t just stand there.”

I flinched. His tone was friendly and open, but there was something mocking and predatory in his blood-red eyes. My nerves were back with a vengeance but the colour in his eyes assured me that he had eaten recently. This was of course only reassuring until the meaning behind it hit me. Someone had lost their life to sustain him. 

I decided to sit in the other group of seats, away from the grinning vampire and his sister that would not stop scowling at me.

As expected the seats were comfortable. Felix had entered the plane on the tail end of Alec’s comment and had sat down in the open seat next to Jane. He wouldn’t stop looking at me. I could feel his stare on the back of my head as I got comfortable. Or tried.

They spoke quietly between themselves, discussing who-knows-what. Not something I wanted to be involved in. They were murderers. The rulers of the vampire world. I just wanted this whole ordeal over with. And yet I wanted time to stretch as slow as possible, allowing me just a few more moments alive.

There was no doubt in my mind that after speaking to Aro, he would kill me or have someone else do it. But I would savor the last time I had, so maybe it wasn’t that bad to be in an overly comfortable private plane for the next many hours, although the company left something to be desired.

At some point I fell asleep. Something I had feared. I did not want the nightmares to come. Surprisingly enough I woke up without having dreamt. The constant state of fear must have tired me out. The nap left me more tired than I had been before. Like when you fall asleep and wake to find hours have passed but it only felt like minutes. The disorientation of time passing was especially hard on my fragile senses after so long in the dark.

“Sleeping beauty awakes,” a smooth voice called. Felix. Great. I was still not sure what to feel about these strange vampires, other than fear based on the fact that they were part of the Volturi and survived on human blood. Had I not been so scared, maybe I would have said something back. To both him and Alec. Their teasing was making me angry and I was sure that they were just waiting for an excuse to end me. It was better not to speak up for myself.

An embarrassing realization hit. I needed to pee. How I was even able to feel embarrassment in my state was a miracle. Or rather a curse. I don’t know.

“Uhm..” I started hesitantly, “Is there a bathroom?”

Felix and Alec laughed, at my embarrassment, or my humanness. I had no way of knowing. Jane just sighed — something I had noticed she did a lot — and pointed towards a small door at the end of the plane.

I quietly thanked her, which she without a doubt was able to hear, and got up to use the toilet. I tried not to think about the fact that they could hear everything.

As I was returning to my seat, Jane spoke up; “We will be landing in 30 minutes”. Her voice was monotone and instead of the malicious look she had been giving me her face had returned to a calm indifference. I thanked her again. 

A small sense of wonderment struck me. I had never been out of the country and within 30 minutes I would be in Italy. In any other circumstances, it would have been a dream.

I looked out the window and admired the view, but could not take my mind off the vampires sitting a few meters from me and the danger they posed. And yet I was curious. This was the first time I had been around human-drinkers that weren’t actively trying to kill me. I wanted to know about them. How they were turned. How old they were. I tried to suppress the thought.

Jane and Alec looked so young, barely out of childhood, and yet they could be centuries old. There was no way of telling. Felix looked to have been changed in his twenties. Based on the sheer control they had — no one had so much as blinked about being locked in a small car with me, a human, for hours — I would guess that they were old. Ed- HE used to say that new vampires were out of control and dangerous.

The plane landed softly and the vampires got up. Their cloaks folding themselves around them. They looked like angels of death with their red eyes and beautiful faces. I followed as they got out. _ At least we wouldn’t have to wait at the baggage claim, _ I thought to myself trying to cheer myself up. It didn’t work.

It was early morning and the sun was just rising over the horizon. I caught a brief glimpse of a stray ray hitting Jane’s cheek before her hood was up and covering her face. But just that had left me in awe. She looked surreal, like something from a fairy tale and I could barely wrap my head around it even though it was not the first time I saw a vampire in the sun.

I followed them across the tarmac to a waiting car.

It was getting easier to think freely the closer we got to Volterra and subsequently my death. Like nothing was stopping me. I didn’t know what to feel. I thought of Edward in the sunlight. I could think his name, and even though the pain threatened to cripple me, I thought of everything that had happened between us since our first meeting. It was liberating. Not being trapped in a prison of my own mind. I thought of Alice. Lovely Alice with her bell-voice and too-tight hugs. I missed them. I missed them all so much it burned. The tears had started unbeknownst to me again.

Jane’s sigh brought me back to reality. I had missed most of the drive again.

“Finally home,” Alec said. Felix grunted his agreement.

Through the windshield I could see Volterra rising up ahead of us like a fortress out of old stories. It terrified me but was beautiful at the same time.

We drove up a small road to a gate in the wall. After entering the city, the car twisted through small alleys and roads until we reached what I assumed was the center of town. The sun had risen during the drive, but no rays reached the vampires with me, safely in their cloaks.  _ Their warm cloaks _ , I thought, jealously, as I got out of the car. It was cold in Volterra, but not as cold as Forks. And I had not had the time to grab a jacket. Luckily we had been inside with the heat on the entire time or I would surely have frozen by now.

I front of me a large building with a clocktower rose up. On the opposite side of the building from the tower was a small door, that we went in through. We entered a courtyard and the vampires quickly crossed it. I did not want to slow them down, even though now that we were safely inside, they most likely only maintained a human speed for me. Following they seemed more relaxed as we entered the building, letting their hoods drop back down again and their shoulders did not seem as tense.

No one said anything as we walked through grandiose halls, then to my big surprise we entered a modern-day reception. It was warmly decorated, with pictures of the Tuscan landscape on the walls, and sofas grouped together to create a cozy atmosphere. It did not work to calm me down. It had the opposite effect, and I realized that we were at the end of my journey. I would not live much longer. They could not afford to have a human alive that knew the secret.

“Ben tornato, Jane, Alec, Felix” a cheerful voice said. A voice that wasn’t ethereal and sounded like music. I looked towards where the sound came from and to my surprise a human woman was greeting? I assumed the vampires back. I stopped in shock. What was she doing here and how was she so relaxed in their presence?

“Gianna” Jane gave a nod to the woman. Alec just smiled at her. Felix winked. She, Gianna, giggled and it was like the rug had been ripped out from under my feet.

They had already passed by her and were in the next hallway. Jane noticed I wasn’t following stopping with yet another sigh and just looking at me. I quickly followed.

“Gianna has her uses but she’ll be dead soon” Alec spoke.

“When she runs out of purpose for us” Felix added. I shuddered.

We went down another long richly decorated hallway. The doors at the end looked to have been made of pure gold, but Alec stopped at a small side door and held it open for Jane and me to pass through, letting go and letting it almost slam into Felix’s face. Felix scowled at Alec as he laughed.

We were in a small chamber. The walls were made of stone and it was cold. I could feel goosebumps breaking out on my skin. We quickly moved on. Moving into a light, high-ceilinged, completely round room. I thought it was in the clock tower. Windows high on the wall let in the sunlight. Creating small rectangles of light on the floor. The vampires sparkled as they moved through them.

The only furniture in the room was three wooden works of art, that could not be called anything but thrones.

We were not the only people in the room. A few vampires were standing around looking bored. And on the thrones they sat. Aro, Marcus, and Caius. The leaders of the Volturi.


	3. Aro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella stands trial before the Volturi and a decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter done! i've been on a bit of a roll :D  
> we finally meet aro! some of the dialogue and actions are taken from new moon (since i only own a copy of this book in danish, the lines have been translated and may not be completely as in the original text)

My heart beat frantically. I could hear the blood rush in my ears, and surely the vampires could hear it too. I was completely focused on the three ethereal beings on the thrones. I recognized them from the painting in Carlisle’s office. They wore long, completely black robes.

When we entered the room the center figure, who I knew was Aro, rose and moved forward to greet the returning guards. He moved with more grace than I had imagined it possible to do even for a vampire. Not even Alice could compare. I was amazed.

My amazement did not lessen when he got closer and I got a look at his face. His features were perfect, like any other vampire, but his skin was unlike the rest of them. Fragile looking and thin. It was in strong contrast to his long black hair and I wanted to reach out and touch his cheek to see if it would crumble under my hand. His eyes, too, were different. They were red but the color wasn’t as clear as the others’.

“Oh, Jane you are back!” with a voice like a soft sigh, he sounded delighted to see her. He floated forward and kissed her on both cheeks. 

“Yes, Master,” she smiled brightly, “We’ve brought her alive as you wanted.”

“I had no doubt that you would succeed.”

He turned towards me and smiled widely.

“Ahh, you must be Isabella” his voice curled around my name making my cheeks flush.

“Just Bella,” I said, finding my voice. 

He clapped his hands together delighted, “Bella,” he said, “you are very different from what I imagined!”

He sounded pleased and I believed it to be a compliment, but his mannerisms confused me and I didn’t know what to say. He was very different from what I had imagined too. I wanted to know what he had imagined me to be like but didn’t want to ask. I also wondered how he even knew about my existence. I stayed silent. Not that it seemed like he needed my input, for after staring curiously at me for a moment, he turned towards the other two leaders who still sat on their thrones.

“Isn’t she just wonderful, brothers? Standing here before us, and not even that scared!”

Wonderful did not look like a word they would have used to describe me or the situation. Marcus, who also had long wavy black hair, had a bored and vacant expression on his face. As if he did not notice anything around him. Caius, on the other hand, sneered at me.

“Just get on with it, brother. We all have other things we would like to do today.”

“So impatient. Oh well if you insist, brother.”

Aro turned back to me and smiled again, but the smile was different this time. Not as wide or overly happy.

“Now, I’m sure you already know why you are here?” he asked but it wasn’t really a question. I nodded. He continued: “Good. Now I need you to tell me the full story, so if you’ll just give me your hand?” He reached his hand out towards me.

I was confused. What did he need my hand for? My confusion must have shown on my face.

“How rude of me! I didn’t even explain… You see Bella, I’m gifted with the ability to read every single thought a person has had with just a touch. So if you please.”

“Edward,” it hurt. Oh God, it hurt saying his name. I swallowed and started again. “Edward couldn’t read my thoughts.”

Aro looked surprised for a second and it quickly turned to a look of intrigue. “How interesting. Even more reason for me to try!” His hand was still reached toward me. I slowly raised my own. I was shaking badly and tried to will myself to stop. I didn’t want to touch him and allow him to read every thought I had ever had. On the other hand, the thought of feeling his skin was calling me.

It seemed I was moving too slow for him as he stepped a gliding step closer to and took my hand in his.

His expression was confident as he bent his head over our clasped hands. Time passed and I was unsure if I was supposed to feel something. His expression changed from confident to doubt then to disbelief before he raised his head looking directly into my eyes with interest. Then his face was back to being overly friendly. He let go of my hand and took some steps back.

“A first…” he mumbled to himself. “I wonder if our other abilities will work…”

He looked at me again, calculatingly. “Jane, dearest?”

“Yes, Master?”

“Will you try?”

I braced myself, uncertain of what was going to happen. Jane looked at me with a delighted expression on her angel face.

Nothing happened.

I was still unsure of what was  _ supposed _ to happen, but it seemed like her ability did not work either. Judging by the now angry expression on her face. Aro, on the other hand, looked like a child on Christmas day.

He started laughing. Jane did not find it amusing and started snaring, leaning forward to attack.

“Now, now, dearest. Don’t take it too badly.” he put a gentle hand on her shoulder, “she confounds us all.”

He looked back at me. “Well this leaves us in a bit of a predicament,” he said, voice wondering and considering. “We still need to get to the bottom of what has happened”

I flinched. I would rather not think about what had happened. And what would happen to the Cullens when Aro found out that they had revealed the secret to a human? Even though they had left me I still wanted to protect them with all of my heart. I still did not know how the Volturi had found out.

“Please tell us your story, Bella. The full story” I didn’t have a choice. So I told them what had happened. How I’d moved to Forks, met Edward, figured out the secret, how we had fallen in love, James wanting to kill me, what happened at the ballet studio, and finally about that fateful day of my birthday. The day that was the beginning of the end. It all spilled from me, like water from a waterfall. I had not realized how desperate I was for someone to talk to. For telling anyone what had  _ actually _ happened. Throughout my story, Aro merely listened, a thoughtful expression on his face. When I had finished I felt lighter. As if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. And yet at the same time, I was heavy-hearted. Now there was no stopping them from going after the Cullens. They had broken the Law after all. But I had to try.

“Please, please. Don’t hurt them. I was the one that figured it out. I should be punished, not them!”

Aro’s face was full of wonder and bemusement. “How extraordinary. You would sacrifice your life for one of us? A vampire.”

“Yes!”

“I see. Very interesting.” he was back to looking thoughtful. “Your story does match up with what we had been told.”

“A- and who told you about it?” I had to ask. There was no doubt that I was going to die very soon, I felt like I deserved to know this much at least.

“Hmm… Tanya Denali. Are you familiar with her?”

Denali. I wasn’t sure who Tanya was, but I knew about the Denalis. They were vampires living in Alaska and stuck to the same diet as the Cullens. I wondered why she would go to the Volturi. My emotions must have shown on my face again, as Aro went on to explain: ”You see, she was unhappy with how… depressed the Cullens, and Edward especially had become after leaving Forks. She blamed you. I can now understand that she was wrong about that. Still, the Cullens did break the law.”

“Please!”

“We might be able to do something,” he said, and it was the small ray of light I needed to keep fighting.

“Brother, they broke the law!” Caius was annoyed.

“Yes, they did not tie up the loose ends as they should have,” he agreed and my heart sank, “but Bella hasn’t told anyone about us, has she?” he looked at me.

I shook my head vehemently. I hadn’t told anyone about the secret.

“Well then, if we tie up the loose ends right now, then no harm has been done. And we might honor Bella’s last request not to punish them” Aro looked pleased with himself. Caius looked less pleased but didn’t say anything.

This was it. My final time had come. They were going to kill me now, but I could die with peace in my heart knowing that the Cullens wouldn’t be hurt. But then why were my heart beating so fast and my breath coming so short. My death would save the Cullens, but I didn’t want to die. Aro tilted his head to the side as if listening to something.

“ _ Isabella _ , your heart is beating so fast,” he said. I didn’t know how to react. They had just decided on my death after all. “Ah. Do not worry, you will be given a choice. After all why waste such potential?” I didn’t know what he was talking about. They were going to let me go? I didn’t think so, but what other choice could he have been talking about?

“W-what choice?”

“To join us and become a vampire of course!” he spoke with glee. Join them? Become a vampire, just as I had wanted to since Edward confirmed the secret? I didn’t have to die? Elation filled me. I didn’t have to die!

“What!?” an angry voice interrupted my relieved thoughts.

“Brother, you can of course see the potential?” Aro asked calmly, turning towards Caius. “We haven’t seen anything like this since Jane and Alec.” Caius still looked angry and doubtful but kept quiet.

“So will you, Bella?” Aro looked imploringly at me, “Will you join us and become a vampire”

“Yes,” I said, sealing my fate. I wanted the Cullens safe, and I wanted to live. This was the only thing that would allow both.

He clapped again. “Wonderful” he looked like he meant it. Then he was in front of me. I took a half-step back from the shock. His hands gently reached out for me, grasping my shoulders.

“Relax, Bella.” he said, “This will hurt, but it will be worth it.”

Oh, he was going to change me now. I tried to relax. But fear of the pain kept me stiff. One hand moved up into my hair, tilting my head to the side, while the other softly removed my hair from the side of my neck. He leaned in and my breath hitched, a blush covering my cheeks. He smelled divine, like petrichor and something musky.

“Isabellaaa, relax.” his voice was soft in my ear and I could feel my body relaxing. I could feel Aro’s smile against the skin of my neck where my pulse thundered. He breathed in deeply and sighed happily. I felt his lips part against my neck and then—. Pain. Pain like I had only ever experienced once in my life before. Far away I registered the sound of a low moan and my hands grasping at his cloak. Then the fire started. I felt Aro pull away. My blurry eyes caught his blood-red ones and then I knew nothing but the flames.


	4. Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella awakens to her new life as a vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was heavily inspired by bella's awakening and transformation in bd.

My body was burning. I didn’t remember why it was, but all I knew was the pain. It was all-consuming and I couldn’t think. I thought I was screaming — begging for someone to kill me and end this pain — but couldn’t be sure. The only sound I could hear was my frantic heartbeat.

I had no way of knowing how long had passed and surely my body was nothing but char by now, but the fire kept burning. Slowly other things started to filter in through the pain. I could hear the soft sound of someone breathing nearby, and feel the soft sheets I was lying on. Sometimes the person watching me would change. The watcher had changed twice when the next change in me came. The fire started retreating! I thought it was a blessing when the fire left my toes and the tips of my fingers but was soon proven wrong when the fire in my heart gained strength.

The fire retreated further. My hands and feet left cool, but my heart hot and desperate. It felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest. This was also when the fire in my throat changed. From being burned at the stake to being left in the desert to die. I was so thirsty.

The fire had now left most of my arms and legs, but my heart was beating faster and faster, almost a continuous sound. I heard my watcher call for “Aro” and it took me a few seconds, I assumed, to remember who Aro was and where I was. I also remembered what was happening and why I was going through this pain. This knowledge was enough for me to stop begging for death, but not to stop screaming. Nothing could have stopped that.

Especially now as the fire had left the rest of my body and was focused in my heart. I heard four sets of footsteps enter the room.

I was screaming with all my lungs, as my heart beat once, twice, and then stopped. The pain was gone! I stopped screaming. My throat hurt, but not from screaming, from thirst. A thirst that only one thing could stop, but I didn’t want to think about it. I opened my eyes.

Everything looked different like I had been living my life with a thin blindfold on. Everything stood clearer now. Wonderment filled me and drew my attention away from my burning throat, but not completely. In the back of my head, it was there. The thirst that would be with me for the rest of eternity.

I could see every line in the planks on the ceiling, see the dustmotes dance in the air in the sunlight streaming in through the window. A sound drew my attention away from the ceiling. Without conscious thought I was up on my feet, back pressed against the wall, and sharp hiss filled the room. It took a moment before I realized the sound had come from me. As soon as I realized this I stopped and drew in a breath. I could taste the air and with it came a lot of sensory information.

I focused on what was in front of me and wonder filled me again.

There, stood in the sunlight was five vampires. Their skin was like prisms in the light throwing around rainbows of light. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. Then their protective stances registered with me. I felt threatened, even though I knew I had no reason to be. I was a vampire, like them, now. One of the Volturi, and yet I couldn’t stop the growl that fell from my lips. The vampires in front of me answered in kind and I drew further back against the wall. I was thoroughly trapped. I could feel anxiety creeping in.

A soft commanding voice filled the room: “Isabella, relax”. It sounded like music, like a lover’s soft sigh. I focused on the figure that had talked and I recognized him. Aro. The leader of the Volturi, and my Master now, I supposed. My human eyes had not done him justice. I remembered wondering if he was beautiful or not, but now I could see that he was perfection. As though painted by an ancient master. “Felix, Demetri. Stand down. You are frightening her.”

The two vampires in front of Aro straightened up but did not relax, and I recognized one of them. Felix. He had come to pick me up from Forks. That seemed so long ago. The memories of my human life were out of focus and seemed so far away. Almost like they had happened to someone else. The other vampire must be Demetri then.

As they came out of their battle-ready stances, I copied them. Aro laughed amazed. “So much control for someone so young!” he exclaimed. They had been expecting me to attack them? But I had no reason to do so.

I looked at the two vampires I didn’t recognize. One stood right behind Aro with a hand on his back, looking around every few seconds as if expecting an attack to come from anywhere at any point. She had black hair and a slight build and wore a dark cloak.

The other vampire in the room was stunning. There was simply no other word for it. She reminded me of Rosalie though they did not look alike, they had the same kind of unforgettable beauty.

“Are you not thirsty, my dear?” At Aro’s words, the pain in my throat flared up with a vengeance. I clutched a hand to my throat and whimpered. I tried to think of anything else. I didn’t want to feed. Blood was the only thing that could satisfy me and I knew that the Volturi would not subscribe to the same kind of diet as the Cullens. There was no doubt in my mind that they wouldn’t let me feed like that either. 

“Heidi,” a gesture to the incredibly beautiful woman, “why don’t you go get someone so she can feed?”

I shook my head violently. I did not want to feed.

“No?” he sounded mildly surprised and his expression matched, “but you need to feed, dearest or the thirst will keep getting worse.”

I did not see how it was possible for this pain to get worse but didn’t want to find out how it could. But I wanted to take someone’s life even less than that. I could take the pain for now. I shook my head again.

Aro looked reproachful: “I know you are used to the Cullens’ way of life, but that is not the proper food source. You will need to feed at some point, why not just get it over with? I know you will enjoy it.”

That didn’t make me feel better. I did NOT want to enjoy taking everything away from someone. I shook my head.

“I see,” he sounded… not disappointed exactly but not pleased either. Then his entire countenance changed. “Oh!” he clapped his hands together, “there’s something I want to try. Give me your hand.” Felix and Demetri looked at him out of the corner of their eyes, both their faces showing how much of a bad idea they thought this was.

“There’s no reason to worry. Look at how calm she is!” They still looked skeptical but moved aside so Aro could move forward. His words were the law afterall. 

As he moved towards my perch on the bed I had woken up on, it took everything in me not to growl. I did not think it would end well for me if I did, judging by his guards’ expression. He came a slow step closer, and I forced myself to move off the bed and straighten my back. Every movement was more fluent than I was used to and took almost no thought. Before I would have stumbled and fallen, but now I could move with a fluent grace that surprised me.

Aro looked extremely pleased. He reached out for me and I lifted my hand to put it in his. I froze completely in amazement when I looked down and noticed the sun on my skin. Aro stopped noticing my distraction. “You are a vision” he whispered quietly, but I had no trouble at all hearing him. I looked from my skin to his face, surprised. I had not thought about how the transformation would affect my looks. But now I was curious about how I looked.

Seeing that my attention was on him he slowly, as not to frighten me, took my outstretched hand. His hands were soft. The temperature surprised me. I had been expecting the cold, yet was met with the same as my own. Of course that should not have surprised me yet it did.

“Still nothing,” he said pleasure and disappointment mixing in his voice. I was relieved. I didn’t want someone I barely knew to go through every thought I had ever had.

His voice broke me from my thoughts: “Since you do not want to feed, do you want to see yourself?” I nodded, and he led me by the hand he was still holding towards a full-length mirror I had not noticed.

At first, I didn’t connect the image of the beautiful girl in the mirror to myself. She had long, wavy, dark hair, and was the picture of perfection. Graceful, even standing completely still, then my gaze found hers in the mirror and I froze. Blood-red eyes stared back at me. The girl in the mirror blinked at the same time I did and I realized it was me.

It would take some getting used to. Especially the eyes. They frightened me. But this was my life now. The life I had chosen the moment I decided to get involved with Edward. It was always going to end with me dying or becoming a vampire. This was the better choice, I had just not expected to end up as part of the Volturi. 

His name didn’t hurt to think anymore. It was like a veil had been placed between me and my human memories. And with that veil came a clarity I had not had before. Now that I was not completely caught up in my emotions, I was angry. It might have been influenced by the chaotic feelings of a newborn vampire, but it was not solely that. I was angry at Edward for leaving. Leaving me alone without thought to the consequences it would have for me as a human knowing the secret. Of course, the Volturi would find out! And of course, they would come for me!

I was not just angry at Edward, but at the rest of the Cullens too, though that anger didn’t burn as brightly. They were complicit in just leaving without a word. Maybe it was irrational of me to blame them, but I didn’t care. They had left me to this fate. To become a murderer for eternity and to leave Charlie and Renee without a daughter. To always wonder what had happened to her.

“What are you thinking, Bella?” a concerned and interested voice broke me from my increasingly dark thoughts.

“I just…” I stopped talking. Had that bell-like chime really come from me? It must have. Everything would take some getting used to, but the wonder of my voice had distracted me from my anger. “I was thinking about the Cullens.”

“I see… Well, as we agreed the Cullens will not face punishment for their actions, because of your sacrifice, but they will be summoned to explain themselves.”

If my heart had been beating it would have beat out of my chest at that. I was not sure I could face them with my newfound anger. I wanted to confront them, but at the same time would rather just forget that they existed. Yet, I couldn’t let go of all the good times we had had together, though the change had left them far away now. Aro once again saved me from my thoughts by speaking; “However we can speak more of that later.” Even though he claimed not to be able to read my mind, I thought he might have been able to, since he knew just exactly what to say.

Unfortunately, now that I wasn’t distracted by my anger the thirst had returned with a vengeance. It hurt! I barely suppressed a whimper. The pain showed on my face, I was sure because Aro said: “Are you sure you do not want to feed? The thirst cannot be comfortable.”

The whimper I was suppressing slipped out. It hurt more and more, like a forest-fire gaining traction.

I had no choice but to feed.


	5. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella deals with the guilt that comes form taking a life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is so short, you guys >-<'  
> i felt like i got everything in it that i wanted to say and this felt like a good place of ending it. i'll try to have chapter 6 up as quickly as possible.

I wanted to scream and cry and throw a tantrum. But did not show any outward reaction. After the realization that I had no choice but to feed, or the pain would just keep getting worse, Heidi had been sent to find a human for me. A human being with hopes, thoughts, and dreams just like I had been. With a family that would miss them, just like I was sure that mine missed me.

At some point, I was glad that I would not have to feed in front of the rest of the coven this first time, as Aro had informed me that normally they would all feed together. I was afraid of how I was going to react to taking a life and didn’t want everyone to be witness to my breakdown.

It could hear them returning. The rhythmic thump-thump-thump and two sets of footsteps. I recognized one of them as Heidi’s — completely even and regular — and the other was definitely human. Not as regular, stumbling a bit in her high heels.   
I wondered how they got a human for me so quickly and why the person wasn’t freaking out. The question was answered as the door was opened. I recognized the woman Heidi had brought. It was the secretary. I didn’t even know her name and now I was going to end her life to sustain my own non-life. Then I thought that maybe now knowing her name would make it easier.

As the door opened her scent blew at me and it was like nothing I had ever smelt before. Sweet and enticing. I could feel venom filling my mouth and the fire in my throat rose up to unimaginable heights. It took every ounce of willpower I had to not just jump at her.

The woman took in the room and as her eyes fell on me, realization crossed her face, and her breath quickened. She made to stumble a step back in her sky-high heels, but Heidi gripped her arm tight not letting her move away.

She began speaking rapidly in Italien at Aro, but he merely looked at her with a fake sympathetic expression.

“Dear Gianna,” spoke Aro, and there goes my plan of not knowing her name, “you have been a great help to the Volturi, and we appreciate your hard work, but I’m sad to say that your usefulness has run out.”

He turned to me expression changing to something I couldn’t really put into words. “Bella, this is the true way of vampires.” I nodded and Heidi dragged Gianna into the room closing the door behind her, closing me in with that mouth-watering scent. Aro looked at me with wonder.

“So much control,” he sighed. Heidi let go of Gianna, who didn’t move away seemingly resigned to her fate. She had known this was a risk of working for the Volturi. I was struggling badly with my consciousness screaming at me to stay still and do nothing, but my thirst was controlling the rest of me, driving me to jump at her and  _ drink. _

At Aro’s soft murmur of my name, I lost whatever shred of willpower I was holding unto and pounced.

My teeth sunk into the soft flesh of her neck like a warm knife through butter. The most wonderful thing I had ever tasted filled my mouth. If ambrosia existed it was what I was currently drinking as if my life depended on it. And it did. I could not imagine downgrading from this to animal blood if Edward’s words were to be believed about its taste. This was heaven on earth and I was addicted. Then the source ran dry, and I moved my head away from the mess I had made of her throat, licking my lips. Her throat. On the corpse in my arms. I dropped her, now just an “it”. No life left, it had all been sucked out by a monster. By me. I was a monster. But the taste still lingered in my mouth and the pain had gone mostly away. At the lingering flavor of blood in my mouth, it stirred a bit to life again. This was what I was going to be for the rest of my eternity.

I was so confused about what to feel.

I looked down at myself, still dressed in the same clothes as when I left my home in Forks now covered in Gianna’s life-blood, and further down on the floor, where the lifeless form of Gianna lay, deformed and unmoving. I had broken most of her bones in my embrace and had not even noticed. Nor had I noticed her screams of pain turning to gurgles as she died. My eyes filled with venom-tears, but none of them fell. I couldn’t even cry for the life I had taken and the life I had lost. For Gianna and for the innocent girl I had been.

While I was contemplating, Aro had moved from the spot by the mirror to my side, and he lifted my chin with his hand.

“Isabella, this is the reality of the life we live.” I looked into his eyes, and something struck me then. I might be a monster in the eyes of humanity, but I wasn’t part of it anymore. I was a vampire now, part of a different society. With different rules and morals. It would take some getting used to, but I could do it.  _ You just don’t want to give up your slice of heaven _ , a small voice whispered in the back of my head. And maybe it was right, this was purely for selfish reasons, but I had chosen this life, so I was going to go all-in on my choice. 

“I understand,” my voice rang out in the silent room, filled with conviction of my choice. He smiled. A true smile and I felt something flutter in my gut.

“Welcome to the Volturi, Isabella Swan” he sounded like someone that just got everything they had ever wanted. And I smiled, pleased at having pleased him.


	6. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi starts showing Bella the ropes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't really have a lot to say to this one  
> it feels like a bit of a filler chapter, but it's important for bella's growth

After I had fed, Aro and his personal guard, whom I had learned was named Renata, left the room with Felix and Demetri in tow. Before leaving Felix bent down and picked up Gianna’s corpse carrying her like a sack of potatoes and momentary guilt at what I had done hit me again. I tried to let it pass through me, acknowledging the emotion, and then letting it flow away in the chaos that was my newborn mind.

Demetri smirked at me and Felix winked. Heidi rolled her eyes at the two of them, before turning to me. She looked me up and down a frown twisting her full lips.

“We should get you some new clothes,” I couldn’t agree more with her sentiment. The transformation had changed my entire body and my clothes didn’t really fit right anymore — not to mention the fact that they were covered in blood and I had been wearing them for days before the transformation. They smelled both appetizing of human and horribly of sweat. Not a nice combination for my new sensitive vampire nose.

“You can probably fit in mine,” she said and I was alarmed. Heidi was dressed very differently from what I would normally wear. Sexy, was the first word that came to mind. with her short skirt and tight-fitting shirt. She laughed, a sound like running water, and I startled.

“Don’t worry, not all my clothes are like this. I was out ‘fishing’ earlier today, so that’s why I’m dressed like this,” she made air-quotes around the word fishing. 

“‘Fishing’?” I mimicked her.

“Yeah, I suppose you wouldn’t have known, but I’m the one that lures in all the food for the Volturi,” I was horrified. So many people and she spoke of it so casually. Then I reminded myself that this was the way of vampires, of course, they would need to lure in lots of people. I couldn’t help but be curious.

“How do you do it?”

“Oh, we pretend to give tours of the castle,” while she said this she gestured to me that I should go out the door, “Now, this room is yours, so you might wanna memorize the way to get here.”

I didn’t know how I would be able to memorize all the intricate hallways she led me through but somehow it just came to me with no problem. Searching my memories of my human life, I remembered Edward once telling me that vampires had perfect memories. It was a bit of a struggle to recall things that had happened to me while I was human, almost as if looking through a thick fog.

We arrived at Heidi’s room and she led me to her closet, pulling out an ordinary pair of jeans and a blouse. The blouse wasn’t really my style, much fancier than what I would have chosen for myself, but beggars can’t be choosers, and I was really grateful to her for giving me something new to wear.

She showed me to her bathroom and left me alone so I could shower and change in peace. I took off my old clothes and curled them up into a ball, unsure of what I should do with them. Then the mirror caught my eye and I was once again fixated on the perfect, beautiful woman in it. She had an hourglass figure, and perfect, pale skin. Not a blemish in sight and all my scars from human accidents had disappeared, the only ones left where the bite from James, and Aro’s bite on my neck.

I raised my hand letting my fingers grace the bite mark Aro had left on me. A shiver wracked my body. Confusing feelings rising when I thought of him. All my fear of him had disappeared and in its place, a mix of different feelings had appeared.

I trusted him. He had been fair to me, much more than I had expected based on what Edward had told me. He gave me the choice to become a vampire when he could just have killed me, and I was grateful.

I suppose I was meant to call him ‘Master Aro’ now. All the others did and I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in this new place. Maybe now that I was a vampire among other vampires I would finally have a place to fit in.

I got in the shower — without waiting for it to heat up — washing off the dirt and blood of my journey. It was cathartic watching all the dirt flow down the drain. I could see every speck thanks to my new enhanced vision. As a human, I remembered thinking it would be difficult to get used to all these new and enhanced senses, but it wasn’t. It was as natural as breathing had been.

I was born to be a vampire. Nothing had ever felt as comfortable to me as it did now. What would have been cold water to me as a human now matched my skin temperature, and as the temperature of the water rose, as did my stone-skin.

I wet my hair and lathered it up with soap. I didn’t think that Heidi would mind I borrowed hers. According to the bottle, it was scentless, but my sensitive nose could still smell all the ingredients. It was a bit unpleasant, but I thought that considering how strong the scents of shampoo were to my human nose, it would be hell on my vampire one.  _ Not going to be using perfume anymore _ , I thought. Not that it bothered me. I hadn’t been a big fan of it before either.

While my mind was running with thoughts I went through the mindless task of finishing up my shower. It was like my mind could suddenly run in several tracks at the same time and I could contemplate everything while still going through the motions of showering.

I got out and dried off, putting the towel around my hair. Putting on the new clothes I borrowed from Heidi, they fit my new figure better than my old ones had, but they were still not  _ quite _ the correct fit. It would have to do until I could get some others. That brought me to a new problem, as I dried my hair and started to finger-brush it out, not needing a real brush, as it hadn’t tangled. What would I do about essentials and clothes? How would I get them? And how did the Volturi even make their money? Pondering all this I picked up my old clothes from the floor and went towards the door. I could hear Heidi on the other side humming as she turned the pages of a book.

She looked up the moment I opened the door, no doubt having heard me long before I even neared it. There was no privacy among such a large group of vampires, and it would probably take some getting used to, but then again I was already a bit used to it after having been around the Cullens so much.

She smiled at me and I tentatively smiled back. I held up my clothes.

“What should I do with them?” I still wasn’t used to the sound of my own voice, but I was getting there. Even though it felt more natural to be a vampire, I still had a lot of things I would need to get used to. My voice being one of the things, drinking blood being another. A pang of grief for the life I had taken hit me again. It was different than the initial grief I had felt, a bit more detached.  _ I will get used to it _ , I thought to myself, trying to hammer in the action, and not think about all the other connotations bound to it. I would need to get over it if I wanted to survive and fit in here. And I wanted that more than anything.

Barely a moment had passed while I thought about all this. My mind being much faster than it had as a human. Although the human memories were getting farther and farther away, the less I thought of them. A blessing or a curse, I wasn’t sure.

“Just throw them in the trash,” Heidi answered. I did as she had said.

“Now, Master Aro, asked me to help you get settled and tell you of our rules,” her voice took on a sterner tone, her seriousness about the subject showing, “I think we will go to the library to talk,” the ending of her sentence took on a softer tone.

I nodded, and she smiled again, telling me to follow her. She led me through more hallways and now that I didn’t have to worry about how to find my way back — a part of my brain dedicated to remembering the route we took — I had time to notice all the art on the walls. The Volturi were truly the night time patrons of the art, as they had once been described to me. The art was stunning and really helped give the feeling of an old-time castle. Which I supposed this actually was. It was weird to think that this would be my life now.

We entered the library and my jaw dropped. It was heaven to me. Probably the only one I would ever enter now that I had taken a life. I pushed the thought away and focused back on the sight before me. High painted ceilings were above us, with tall bookcases covering the walls. They were filled with books, both old and new, and I could see myself getting lost in here for days on end. An appealing laugh interrupted my appraisal of the room. I could understand why Heidi was the one to ensnare humans — everything about her was enticing. That didn’t mean I liked being laughed at. Embarrassment flooded me and had I been able to blush, I would have. Small miracles I supposed.

“I take it that you like books?” she was still laughing, the sound coloring the words, but it didn’t feel like she was mocking me. “That’s good. You will need hobbies to pass time here, we aren’t on duty at all times.” I had not thought about that. Not sleeping would be… interesting. I would suddenly find myself with a lot of time on my hands. We sat down at one of the tables spread around the room, taking seats beside each other.

“As I said, Master Aro asked that you learn about our rules and traditions, as well as learn Italian. I will help you with all this.”

I blanched, of course, I would need to learn these things, but it suddenly struck me how big of a task that would be. I had always struggled with Spanish, so the prospect of learning another language didn’t seem great. Not to mention that the Volturi were ancient, they surely had a lot of rules and traditions.

“Don’t worry so much,” Heidi’s gentle voice interrupted my musings. She placed a hand on mine, the temperature not as big a surprise this time, “we learn very fast, and I will be with you every step of the way.”

I took a deep breath, before blowing it out through my mouth. It calmed me down and I looked into Heidi’s eyes. Her expression was reassuring and felt trust in her. I could do this. Seeing the resolve on my face, she smiled.

“We aren’t starting with Italian today, but I have some books on it I would like you to read through,” she looked towards a shelf of books, nodding towards them, “right now I would like to go over the most important rules of the Volturi with you.”

This was a great relief to me, maybe it would help me to not make a fool of myself.

She let go of my hand, “Now the most important one you probably already know, and is the reason the Volturi exists; We must not let the humans become aware of the existence of vampires.” I nodded, I already knew that. The most important Law vampires had. It was the reason I was here in the first place.

“Now second, we can’t let an immortal child exist.” I cocked my head to the side. Immortal children? I had never heard of them. She read the confusion clearly in my body language and started to explain: “Immortal children are children turned before they develop proper critical thinking skills. They can’t be controlled and only kill and kill, never stopping with no regard for humans finding out.”

“Oh,” I said. I could understand why this would be very bad. She continued: “When someone creates an immortal child it’s the Volturi’s duty to destroy them as quickly as possible, this includes the creator and any vampire that knew about the child but didn’t report it.” It sounded a bit extreme to destroy anyone that knew about it, but I was starting to learn that the Volturi doesn’t give second chances. I could also see the reason behind being so firm when you were dealing with immortal creatures with amazing powers. It wouldn’t do to be seen as weak or you wouldn’t stay in control for very long.

The laws were simple enough, and I could understand the reasoning behind both of them.

“Now when you are in the castle, things are mostly quite relaxed. There are certain standards you must live up to of course, but it’s not too bad.” Heidi said. I wondered what these “standards” could be, but she didn’t let me think about it for long.

“It’s mostly just to be respectful of those of higher rank than you. Oh! And never call the masters by their given name alone, you must always call them ‘Master’ before it.” This  _ sounded _ simple enough, but I was certain that if someone was going to screw it up, it would be me.

The rest of the day passed in a similar fashion with Heidi explaining the different ranks to me, how people got their rank, what the Guard did on a normal day, and what training was like. She told me that her days looked a bit different as she was the “bait” that collected people to feed on for us.

She also explained what the Masters would expect from me as a newborn and what I would need to do. I would need to go through combat training, and training to determine what — if I had one — ability I had. She told me that they were pretty certain I was a shield considering that their powers didn’t work on me, but that I would be expected to do my best to improve in the use of my ability. I wouldn’t be given a rank until my newborn year had passed.

When the sun was setting through the stained glass windows high on the wall, casting colorful columns of light on the floor, my head was swimming with information and I was badly in need of a break. Had I been human I would have needed to sleep, but as I couldn’t I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

Heidi noticed this and stopped our session, but not before finding a huge stack of books and giving them to me. I decided to go back to my room to rest before tackling the “course load” she had given me.


	7. The Cullens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of Bella settling into life with the Volturi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! i keep starting new stories lol, but this one hasn't been forgotten or abandoned.  
> hope you like the update!

Even though the stack of books Heidi had given me seemed overwhelming, with my new and improved vampire brain, it wasn’t as big a hurdle. I flew through them. Everything from history to the Volturi’s rules and traditions, to the Southern Vampire Wars. There was so much I had never heard of as a human, an entire secret history. It was fascinating and while I hadn’t been one much for history as a human, the before dry texts now were easy to read and understand. It made me almost thankful to be a vampire, to be able to learn all these things.

I read through the books on Italian grammar too, but while I now knew the foundations of the language, I was still a far way from speaking it. However, I was now optimistic about learning it, with how fast everything else went. After finishing some of the books, I laid down on my — unnecessary — bed and found patterns in the ceiling, giving my mind a time to rest and wander. I went through everything that had happened since the Volturi Guards knocked on my door, to where I was now, not thinking too deeply about it, but letting it flow over me.

I didn’t know how long I lay there, I could figure it out quickly if I wanted to but I saw no need to do that. I heard the approaching footsteps of a vampire, footsteps I recognized — Heidi. The same time the knock rang out in the room I was already at the door, opening it. 

Heidi smiled at me and I smiled back. It was nice to have a familiar face in such unfamiliar surroundings. Even though I knew I was part of the Volturi now and no one here wanted to harm me, it was still intimidating.

“How are you settling?” her sweet voice interrupting my thoughts and I realized I had been quiet for too long.

“Good,” I answered, “I’ve been reading the books you gave me”.

She laughed, “Don’t overdo it! You have lots of time to learn this, forever in fact.” I smiled although I was intimidated by the prospect. Forever was a long time, and while I once had wanted to spend it with Edward, it seemed a bit lonely having to spend it alone, even if I was surrounded by friends. Or would-be friends I supposed, as I didn’t actually know any of the vampires besides Heidi and Master Aro.

“I’ve come to collect you for training”

Oh. Right, training. She had mentioned yesterday that I would be tested and then they would train me in combat. You couldn’t be a guard without knowing how to fight, obviously. And yet, I was trepidatious about it. A leftover from my very clumsy human days, and I couldn’t help but fear making a total fool of myself.

As these thoughts were running through my head I was following Heidi into a hidden courtyard in the middle of the castle. High walls surrounded us to keep us hidden from human eyes, yet the sun shined down upon us making our skin sparkle like diamonds. I was captivated by it yet again but quickly shook it off, following Heidi to the middle of the courtyard where Ar- Master Aro was standing with Renata, Felix, and Demitri.

Master Aro was beautiful in the sunlight. We all were, but my eyes kept being drawn to him. He exuded a power that had me captivated, weak at the knees. I shook my head, shaking off the thoughts that I did not need. I could not afford distractions, I needed to prove my worth to him. That he was right in turning me. Right in not killing me.

Felix gave me a salacious grin and I frowned. Demetri merely looked me up and down with interest. Like a specimen under a microscope. I shifted from one foot to the other. Aro looked up from his conversation with Renata, looking straight at me like he could see into my soul. He smiled like I was a dear friend he had not seen in a long time. His entire face lighting up. It made me feel warm inside. Like I was wanted. I smiled back.

“Aah, Isabella!” he spoke, twisting my name in that special way he had, and I had never liked my full name more than I did at that moment. He walked forward, Renata following like a shadow, and grasped my hands in his. A brief frown of concentration appeared on his face, before smoothing out into satisfaction, “Still nothing,” he sighed, voice soft and intimate, like we were the only people present. Was I human, I would have blushed. I was again happy I couldn’t.

“Well, let’s not waste time,” he said, looking at Felix and Demetri, still holding unto my hands. He looked back at me, “You are aware of what will take place, yes?” I nodded, and found my voice, making sure that my breathlessness wouldn’t show.  _ Thank you vampire physiology! _

“I will be tested in combat, and then a plan for my training will be made,” he smiled like I had told him the answers to the universe, and not something as mundane as what had actually been said.

“Good, good! Felix and Demetri will assist you with your test, and then we will find someone to train you. I, unfortunately, must take my leave now. I have business to attend to.”

I nodded, thankful that Master Aro wouldn’t see me make a fool of myself, which would surely happen with me going up against two vampires with centuries of experience, I assumed.

Then he swept away in a swirl of black cape and glitter. Were it not so graceful, it would have been comical.

I turned to Demetri and Felix to see Felix grinning at me again, “Don’t expect mercy just because you’re hot,” he said, making my brow furrow. He laughed at my expression and I could feel myself starting to get angry. He continued: “You will be facing off against me. Demetri will watch.” I was relieved at not having to face them both at the same time, yet still intimidated by Felix’s huge frame. Even with my newborn strength, he could likely crush me as easily as a fly.

Then before asking if I was ready he dropped his dark cape and lunged at me. I didn’t manage to dodge in time and we hit the dust, me beneath him. I could feel my stone skin crack from the impact. Feel it heal just as fast. It was a strange feeling. Not something I could describe.

While these ruminations were running through my mind, I tried to get loose from his hold, but his arms were like… well stone holding me down. I let my head hit the dirt with a frustrated sigh, while Felix laughed.

“We definitely need to work on your ability to escape holds. That was pathetic,” Demetri commented from his perch leaned against the wall of the courtyard.

I frowned trying to escape anew, but to no avail. After I stopped struggling, Felix got up and offered me a hand to pull me up. He pulled a bit harder than necessary, but it didn’t really faze me with my new, improved, vampire balance.

He took some steps back and lunged again. This time I was ready and managed to dodge him. It went on like this for a while. Me dodging and succeeding, but every time I tried to attack I was quickly brought down. Meanwhile, Demetri came with comments from his place at the wall. Some were helpful, others not so much. I tried to implement all that he said but was still brought down on every attack. Felix seeing my every move before I made them.

We were once again at a standstill when Demetri hummed. Felix straightened up and I followed.

“Well,” Demetri said, humor in his voice, “I think we have enough to be able to figure out a training schedule for you, Bella. You are quite adept at dodging, but we need to work on your attacks.”

I frowned thoughtfully knowing he was right. All the while we had been “fighting” Heidi had been sitting on a bench by the entrance, watching us. As Felix put on his cape again, she patted the place beside her on the bench. Felix and Demetri left us alone to go report to Aro what they had learned. I walked at human speed toward her while trying to brush the dirt off of my clothes with little success. Heidi chuckled at me, but not in a mean way.

“We need to get you some more clothes,” she said, amused. I couldn’t agree more, as I currently had none. At least I didn’t sweat.

I sat down beside her, leaning my head back and enjoying the sun on my face. We sat there for a while just talking about everything and nothing, while the sun slowly sank beneath the horizon.

She told me of her life before becoming a vampire, after being changed by Hilda, about her life with the Volturi, and I told her about my life up until this point, but still avoiding most of what had happened after Cullens had left, only reminiscing on the good times. She was amazed that they had managed to be around a human for so long, and now that I was a vampire I understood how amazing a feat of self-control it was. She also started on basic instructions on Italian, and it made me feel much more secure about learning the language, with how quickly I caught how to pronounce the different sounds of the alphabet.

It felt wonderful to talk with a female friend in a way I never had before. To be understood.

The sound of light footsteps approaching brought us out from our bubble, heads leaned together giggling like schoolgirls about nothing. It was Jane. She had a scowl on her face but still made the effort to smile quickly at Heidi before she turned the full power of her glower on me. I made a conscious effort not to shrink back. She would not harm me after all.

“Jane,” Heidi greeted her with a smile. I nodded at her with a small unsure smile, and her glower seemed to lighten a bit.

“I’ve come to bring you to the throne room,” she addressed me. Her voice was severe and no-nonsense. I was instantly nervous. Had Master Aro decided that I wasn’t worthy of being a guard after all? Was my combat performance that unsatisfactory? My dread must have shown on my face because hers softened a bit, something resembling sympathy crossing her face. It was gone as quickly as it came.

And then she crushed my entire world with just four words: “The Cullens have arrived”


End file.
